For Hip-Hop Brother

Open Letter to Hip-Hop Brother

Hey Mister,

You suspiciously reek of a perfume that is foreign to my nose. I have known you all your 17 years of living and I have never smelled that kind of perfume on you. You are obviously masking a smell that I only know too well. Mary Jane leaves her smell with you for quite awhile and putting on a strong perfume is the only way you can cover it up.

You go home late nearly early in the morning without any reason at all. You have total disregard for us. You have been blatantly and overtly disrespecting Maderella and Daddy-O. I have spoken to you, time and time again, about the way you have been acting. Haven't you noticed that nearly everyone's given up on you?

My heartaches for you but I am tired of our fights. I am giving up on you too.

All I can do now is just hope and wish that what I think you might possibly be doesn't come true. I am so scared because I see myself in you. I see the defiance in you. I see the anger that I have been suppressing. I see the me before I decided to stop fighting in exchange for a false sense of security. I see in you the person I was before I decided to be this pretentious person I am today. I am so scared of the big possibility that you would go thru the shit I went thru that left me this fucked up. I am so scared that you are spiraling too fast downwards that you are falling into an abyss that you might not be able to get out of. I am so scared that I have set a bad example for you. I am blaming myself for you being the way you are today.

Mister, I miss you. I miss the way we were before. . .before the cold shoulder, before the shouts, before the constant defiant behaviour towards each other. I miss the way we talk. I miss the way we are. I miss you, bro.

I know that the brother I have known before associating himself with the baddies is there trapped inside you. I just have to peel the layers and layers of anger that you have acquired all these years. But, how do I go about doing that? How do I go about finding you when you don't want to be found? How do I go about guiding you when you pretend that you don't need anyone's guidance? How do I help you out?

I miss you bro. Wish you'd know this. I wish you'd open up your eyes to how much we worry and care about you.

I love you.

Ate a.k.a The Goddess

*****

I am Angel. . . also known as The Goddess