I will miss the Mondays that I saw you.
I will miss seeing you.
I will miss the conversations we have.
I will miss the freezing cold while we share smokes.
I will miss you.
You promised that we will see each other on Sundays. So I guess, Sunday will soon become one of my favorite days. But then again, I have yet to hear from you again.
You, once again, promised that you will give me a call but as this Sunday passed and no call have been received from you.
Is this the glaring proof that our thing is dying its natural death?
Do I need even more proof that we are done and over?
But then again, why did you have to buy a house that is, as you laid it out to me during our last Monday together: "It's a 10 minute ride from your house." Why did you say that we'll see each other on Sundays if you have no intention of seeing me again? Why did you have to say all those things?
Are you really a grade A asshole to still string me along for a ride that we both know would not be going anywhere?
Or maybe, it's me. Maybe I'm just THAT stupid that I still stay even though the facts are already right in front of my face. Maybe it's me because I can not say the words that you've been waiting for all these time. Maybe it's me because I still agreed to be in this thing despite the fact that . . . That you are a man of responsibilities. Maybe it's me because I wanted you to know that you are worthy to be treated the man you are. Maybe it's me, because I still hold on.
I will miss you and our Mondays together.
I am missing you but I really couldn't do anything about it.
I just have to wait until you remember to call me and let me know your new schedule.
I am antsy right now, because if it was still your old shift, I would've been with you right now. I would've been out in the cold with you. We would've been laughing right now or at the very least stupidly grinning at each other.
I miss the Mondays of the not-so-long-ago.
*****
BRRR!!!!
Current Temperature in T.O.: -5 feels like -16
Weather: Light Flurries
What a frigging way to start this new week, eh? Freezing sub-zero temperatures coupled by light snow.
Did I remember that it was going to snow today? NOPE!
Ergo, the possibility of me slipping on hard snow is very great right now. Tsk! Tsk! I should've put on my winter boots. . . ARGHHHH!!!!!
Too many things on my mind lately so I forgot.
Here I am hiding in our library and have been writing these past 2 and 1/2 hours. My lj space is up and running so I've been tinkering with it for quite a bit. Also finally got Butuin's new email address so wrote her a lengthy letter about family and stuff. I also wrote Friendster testimonials for Cheesy Boy and Japanese Acrobat Sister. Hmm. . .yeah, I've been writing quite a bit these past few hours.
I guess this is my defense mechanism for (once again!) bombing a Calculus test and for feeling cold.
I'm so cold that I am wearing my winter jacket while writing this entry. OH YEAH!!!!!!!!
I've soooo much work to do but no energy to do it. I just want to lie down and sleep this day off but I can't afford that. I am no longer in P.I. I have to earn money so I need to go to work. If I am home, I can't just sleep the whole day off because there are so many household chores I have to do. Yes, I have the burden of doing nearly all the chores in the house as I am the girl. Whatever the hell that means!!!!!!
I should be freaking out because two of my research papers will soon be due. Have I started on any of them? NOPE!!!!!
Lethargy has taken hold of me. And the cold is just fueling the laziness that I am feeling. FUCK!!!!
*****
Fave Word of the Day. . .
. . .is FUCK!
Yes, I have a filthy trucker's mouth!
I've been saying and writing this world quite a number of times this day and it's not even the end of the day! FUCK! (There you go!)
I don't know what's up with me but I am feeling soooo. . . BLAH!!!! FUCK!!!!
I've been writing non-stop these past few hours and I just couldn't stop writing. I gues I'm doing this because I don't want to look at the time and realize that this is the first of the many Mondays that I wouldn't be seeing Dearest Stranger.
Do I miss him? Hell yeah! I fucking miss that grade A asshole! Argghhhh!!!
I never thought I would ever say this but I do miss him. . .
But the thing is, I know that I still haven't crossed his mind. Argghhhh!!!!
I fucking miss you Dearest Stranger! I hope and pray that you call me soon. . .
*****
Manila Stampede (KAPAMILYA)
This is sooooo sad!
Photo taken from: ABS-CBNnow!
88 people died in this Manila Stampede which happened February 4th of this year. Apparently thousands of people were in line for a noontime game show that was giving out a prize of 2 Million Pesos (approximately around $35,000 American). Apparently the theatre that the noontime show was being held were only good for 17,000 people but 25,000 showed up for the show. And obviously ABS-CBN was forgot to take into consideration how the crowd will swell up when you dangle 2 Million bucks for anybody to get. Crowd control should've been their top priority and not ratings. Goddamn fucking TV ratings!!!!
Money is really hard to come by back home because it was reported that even though many were injured and a lot died, there are still a lot of people who stayed in the hopes that they get picked for that goddamned show!
I pray that whoever is responsible for this reckless and preventable event should be given the iron-fist. The amount of people who died and got injured in this event deserves to be compensated in any which way by law or thru financial help.
Now, let's see how this will affect the high and mighty ABS-CBN. Your insensitivity sure didn't impress a lot of people. Your fucked up priorities now is glaring like a pimple waiting to be picked on. What was your slogan, again? KAPAMILYA? Is this what you call KAPAMILYA? Is this the way you treat your KAPAMILYA?
What a crappy way of showing your gratitude to those little people who keep your network going and those that treat you as their KAPAMILYA!
*****
I am Angel. . . missing P.I. and Dearest Stranger!
No comments:
Post a Comment