Sleepless in Canada Part 2

Pre-REM thoughts

It's the early morn of this day and the sandman hasn't come my way. I guess he forgot to put me on his list of people to sprinkle his special sleeping sand.

Here I am awaiting sleep with an aching body and feeling nauseated. I have not been feeling well these past couple of days. I need to get some rest but rest is elusive.

Sadness is keeping me company right now. Tears are suddenly coming out of my tear ducts. My thoughts drift to places I have consciously blocked out. I am suddenly starting to questions certain things that I have done and have been doing in my life. This is not the time for this. Rest is what I need.

Would clarity of mind give me the rest I am so desperately seeking? If it is so, how many more sleepless nights would I be enduring so that I could get the rest I need? Clarity of mind doesn't happen overnight, you know.

I wish soon enough, things would slowly unfold themselves to me so that I could see things clearly. Or maybe they've already been unfolded, its just that I choose not to see them.

My body needs rest. I need to feel ok.

AM I FEELING THIS WAY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T DEALT WITH ISSUES I NEED TO DEAL WITH A LONG TIME AGO? ARE MY WORRIES PRESENTING THEMSELVES TO ME AND TO THE WHOLE WORLD PSYCHOSOMATICALLY?

My body needs rest. I need to feel ok.

*****

A Poem for Dearest Stranger

Show me the world
And I recoil in horror

I’ve been up in the clouds
And sheltered I have been

Show me the richness of love
And I run away confused

I have been hurt
And jaded I will always be

I have to open my heart
And let you in

But I fear
My fragile self broken into pieces

I want you
But I can never have you

*****

I am Angel. . . sick as a Dog!