{Senti}

 

Lyrics:  Angel  Sarah Maclachlan

 

Spicy Chicken . . . 

Thanks for lunch my dear messenger. Thanks for listening to my ramblings about a lost love. Thanks for the very spicy chicken. Thanks for getting it off my plate and sparing my taste buds from getting burned. Thanks for shielding me from those king of the roads. Thanks for holding my hand while crossing the street.  I felt like a little kid for awhile. Thanks for taking time out to spend with me. Thanks for just being there for me. Thanks for making me uneasy but special at the same time. 



*****


There are certain things that should be left unsaid. Sometimes I just couldn't follow this infamous rule of life and love. Sometimes my sharp tongue has a mind of its own. Sometimes I just want to eat the words that came out of my mouth. But, sometimes, these words keep me alive and unscathed from a lot of things.



*****


My writing skills and passion for writing letters saved me from a somehow "unbearable" (?) pain again. Things were miraculously "fixed" between me and Honey. He received the card I sent him last Sunday. He liked what I wrote in it. This time around I need not write an open letter to him.



*****


I don't know why I tremble when I'm around you. I don't know why my palms sweat when you're near me. I don't know why I feel queasy inside. I don't know why I feel helpless when you're around. I don't know why my heart beats like there's no tomorrow when I see you. I don't know why my butterflies want to get out of my skin whenever you touch me. I don't know why I buckle and stutter when I'm talking to you. I don't know why I am so scared that I might say something that would drive you away. I don't know why I am suddenly so afraid of certain things. I don't know why I feel like I'm losing ground. I don't know why I am like this when you're around.


*****


Sometimes, I just want to fly away from it all. Sometimes, I just want to be those butterflies that I've been constantly seeing everyday. Sometimes, I just want things to be simple once and for all. Sometimes, I just wish I could make up my mind and stick to my decision. Sometimes, I want to stop being daring.


*****


Ok. I guess I should stop right now. I am giving too much information here. The fisherman already has a lot of fish in his basket. If he microscopically looks at it he might see something that I've been fearing these past few days.


*****


I wanted to try eating that spicy chicken but I guess I was too afraid that it might be too hot for me. One of my weaknesses are spicy food. The chili burns my tongue and sends a temporary flush of fever and redness on my cheeks. It is similar to this burning white hot heat I thought I could control. Beads of sweat takes away the wall I've built around me. Tears are wanting to get out because of the spiciness. It just scares the hell out of me.


*****

I am Angel. . .afraid of spicy food!