{Senti}

 

Lyrics:  Til They Take My Heart Away  Paolo Santos

 

Open Letter To My Ex-Honey . . .





My dearest dark chocolate Ex-Honey,

Its surprising and somewhat unnerving what has happened to us these past few days. Its nice to hear that you're happy wherever you are. Its nice to have that somewhat kilig and goosebumps that I was once acquainted with. It was nice talking to one of those few people who know the real me.

Its funny how awkward but natural everything seems for the two of us. If some people overheard our long talks over the phone, they would probably assume we never had a serious gap. I still haven't gotten my strong footing with the reality that I've created without you. I am still in serious shock.

Its been a long while since I've written a letter addressed to you and now, it seems like I just don't know what to write. Forgive me if this letter somewhat tackles a wide variety of topics. I still am very much disoriented because of what's been happening to us.

I know my constant replies of a nonchalant nature whenever you tell me you miss me somewhat gets under your skin. I know, I know, you are expecting me to say something else. I do miss you very much is just that I don't want to let you know that. In fact, after everything I still love only you. I'm just scared right now. I have to think about a lot of things. I know you've snapped out of your "solitary contemplation" after a year, 1 month and 15 days. I am happy that we are talking again. I am ecstatic that we are slowly establishing some grounds these days. But I have to calculate every step that I make. I'm not the only person you have to prove yourself to. . .

I guess I'm a bit like you like you are a bit like me now. After spending two years and a "lifetime" emotional investment with you, I have rubbed some of my traits to you and that goes the same for you. "Solitary Contemplation" sounds so good to me right now, but I know that I couldn't do that. I know I would risk putting a strain with this thing that we have right now. I guess I have to work through these new confusions with you just round the corner.

I now wake up with a smile and twinkle in my eyes. My steps are now with a new bounce. I am, now, much happier than I was before we started talking. I have a renewed zest for life. These things you unwittingly brought to me and I thank you for that.

I eagerly await your calls and text messages. My heart swells whenever we are talking. It seems like my thought processes and organization halted working for awhile. I don't know where to start whenever we talk. Joy takes over me whenever I hear your voice. My butterflies, because of extreme excitement and joy, wants to get out of my skin. I guess I really missed you that much. I still I care for you that much. I guess I still love you.

Eternity seemed lonely a couple of days ago but now. . . Its beginning to be colorful again. I am again feeding on hope and basking in the warmth of love.

I hope that somehow, someday we'll get to talk about our past before we start a new chapter in our lives. I hope by that time my confusions are somewhat ironed out.

I miss you. Take Care.

> Angel <

*****

I am Angel. . . in a contemplative mood.