{Bitching about. . .}

Lyrics:   Jealous  Nina

Feelings. . . Feelings. . . Feelings. . . & a DIET!!!

Ms. Mistressjust told me that she's doubting her feelings for HIM. At first, I played my forever role of RAH-RAH GIRL. I was like "Ms. Mistress, its ok lang for me. Don't worry. I fancy the idea of you and HIM playing beautiful music together than some weird stupid chick out there!" I was thinking along those lines until I had this EUREKAmoment that I had to stand my ground, stop being amartyr, and be a selfishbitchthat I really was. Texted her something that was totally not me. A feistiness that would've caught my current group of friends off-guard. JD told me that I had attitude. Hmmm. . . maybe the sleeping bitch in me is already about to wake up again. . . ^_^

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I am still tweaking some aspects of my new greatpretender persona. I am trying my hardest to act around HIM like nothing's changed and
everything's cool. Its hard to pretend that everything's ok when deep inside you, you're crying like hell and sinking to neck deep of insecurities coupled with depression. .: Angel :. tsk! tsk! I hate myself for allowing these things and feelings to happen.

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I am currently on the"mayo clinic" and nicotinediet. The diet promises a 56 lbs weight loss in 2 months time. Hope I have the strength and the courage to stick to it though. I hate the taste of unsweetened grapefruit juice! : (

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I'm kissing Lucky Strike's butt this time. Hmmm. . . rumor has it that he's about to be banned by the US government. Anybody who know the reason behind this? Going back to West Ice once my craving for Lucky wanes. . .

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Here are some crap that I've been piling up in my year old Palm pilot. . .

"Feelings



How I wish I could douse this feelings I have for you! I am slowly being consumed by this growing confusion. I feel so disoriented when I'm around you. I had been a different person since I got to be closer to you! I am going thru my days oblivous of other things beside you! I am scared of this unsettling feelings."

Sappy isn't it? Here's another one. . .

"Going Back



It's hard for me to go back to the way we were before. I can't put aside my feelings for you. I know it's my fault why things have changed. I don't want to regret what I did. I don't want to regret why I let these feelings grow. I don't want to regret that we could never go back to the way we were before."

I really don't know where the hell I've been getting these crappy things! I am so BADUY!!!!

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France is the country that romantic people wanted to go during their life time. . . I chose Italy. Does that mean I am not a romantic person? Bah!

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I am Angel. . .wallowing in my gargantuan insecurities.