Etcetera. . .etcetera. . .etcetera

HAPPY DADS' DAY!

It's Fathers's day today.

I have not or rather I refuse to greet my dad. I still have not recovered from the tiff we had. So I guess, my dad is one of those not so happy fathers on this day.

*****

WRITING

I wrote my first poem when I was in grade six. It was published in the gradeschool Paulinian paper (Yes, I was once a Paulinian.)I loved to write even before that. I kept several diaries over the years some of them are burnt because it ensued a lot of teeth-grinding and head and heart aches for my parents. But still I kept on writing.

I often say here and in my other journal that writing is the one constant thing in my life. Happy or sad, I write. I have so much love and passion for writing that my ex-Honey has two big boxes filled with my letters. Normally, I would like to think that I write about anything under the sun. But of course, Deecee would disagree to this because she still insists that this is an infatuation junkie's blog.

Lately,my passion for writing started to wane. I have difficulty writing a worthy and interesting blog entry. I feel some sort of writing draught about to start. I feel that I already ran out of story to tell. I guess, inferiority complex is also kicking in.

As a friend once told me, EVERYTHING IS A PASSING FEELING. Maybe this feeling of wanting to stop writing will also pass. Hopefully soon I won't have to will myself to write. It would gracefully come to me like before.

*****

CROSS STITCH

I have a two year old project waiting to be finished. I started a cross stitching a then graduation gift for my ex-Honey two years ago. I was not able to finish it on time for his graduation so I gave him something else. I intended to give it to him as an aniversary gift instead. Unfortunately, the stars collided and things did not go as we thought it will. We parted ways two weeks before our second year aniversary.

I have not touched that cross stitch project eversince. Everytime I see that cross stitch project, I used to feel my heart breaking. It used to remind me of a dream that was once was. It used to remind me of an Angel who used to believe in forever, always, and eternity.

I started working on it last night. I braced myself for the feelings that I thought I would get. I braced myself for the pain. I looked for that old familiar feeling but I felt nothing. Actually, I felt a sense of calm when I saw it and started working on it again. I guess, I finally really grew up and moved on.

In a few days time, I'll be done with it. DONE-- a word that denotes finality or accomplishment. I guess I have to happily bid adieu to the once reigning feeling in my life-- heartache.

*****
I am Angel. . .wanna-be writer.