{Bitching about. . .}

 

Lyrics:  ***NONE***



I am here in a 25 per hour dingy cybercafe of sorts near my green and white school. I am holed up here because the sky suddenly let loose her pent up tears. I am longing for my warm comfy bed right now. My head's pounding, my body's aching, and the Sandman sprinkled me with his precious sleep sand. .:Angel:. Sigh!

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My presentation this afternoon went well. Everything about it were rushed. I am such a slacker. I don't know what grade I got in that report I am just thankful that I got thru this day.

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Since I'm paying 25 bucks an hour for this sucky internet connection I'll share to you something I wrote in my "writing exercise journal" just so I could kill time for the meantime. . . err, ain't that a bit redundant? hehehe! ^_^

I am seriously considering a life of singlehood. A life devoid of having my own family-- a loving husband and children. I wouldn't be concerned with diapers and home-cooking if I'm going to stay single all my life. I would, hopefully, be financially free to enjoy things I've dreamt about: go on a trip round the world, write a book, and take up lessons that right now I could not afford (e.g. flying lessons). If I stay single i wouldn't run the risk of committing adultery or worrying about husband-wife squabbles. If I were to satay single I wouldn't be tied down to stereotypical expectations of people. If I were to stay single, loneliness would drive me to insanity.

Me? Single? That's a whole lot of horseshit! I couldn't even bare to be without any form of communication from my friends over the weekend. Tsk! Tsk! The weird and stupid things that go through my mind these days.


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I have erratic mood swings these days. My decisions and taste in things are kinda eclectic. Everything about me seems alien these past few days. The only thing that's constant in my life is writing. I write when I am bored, sad, happy, confused, thinking, or talking to myself. I write not because I want to please people but to just let all these insane thoughts out in this world. I write not for your entertainment. I write not for that SOMEONE. I write even though my thoughts are childish, weird, freaky and out of this world. I guesss I would probably write even when the stars shine during the day and the moon and sun elopes and get married. Writing is the only thing that could pacify me. Writing is the only constant thing in my life.


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I write even though my grammar sucks. If The Messenger is really one of my constant voyeur then probably his eyes are bleeding already because of all the wrong grammar I've committed here in my blog. Tsk! Tsk! If my blog wasn't online. . . I'll probably see a lot of red marks and HUH?!?'s from him.


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I am going now. The sky is feeling a tadbit well now. Thirty minutes of crying her eyes out and letting all those pent up frustrations and madness made her feel better. Good for her I say. As for me, I didn't even realize how fast time flew past me.


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I am Angel. . . missing a lot of things.