{Senti}

Lyrics:  Let Me Be The One  Jimmy Bondoc

An Open Letter For HIM:

Dear HIM,

I never thought I would feel that special uncertain 7th heaven feeling that I got to know a couple of years ago. I never thought that my heart would beat again and that I would care so much for a certain person. I thought that I could suppress all these emotions that I am feeling for different complex reasons. I thought I could hold on to a past that I know I have long forgotten. I thought I could live my routinary life and be contented with my new found freedom and joy. . . I was wrong for thinking all these things. I was wrong for denying myself the satisfaction of sharing this overwhelming joy and contentment that I am feeling. I guess I was selfish for doing that. I guess I was scared.

My emotions are all jumbled up. I have been going through my days dazed and looking at things in the third person. I have been going on and on about my feelings for you to my dear, dear sisters. They say I should tell you how I feel. They told me that I should get over this torture that I've been putting myself into. They assured me that you wouldn't be rejecting me. But still, I am left with a dilemma. I would so much appreciate the relief that I would be getting if ever I tell you my feelings but then again there would be a big possibility that I would lose a great and special friend. I am, again, in another make-or-break scenario of my life. Again, I am torn between taking THE RISK or just letting things be. . .

I took THE RISK too many times now. I still have battle scars from doing so but I am proudly wearing them. I am my own individual now and am ready to love again. I am taking that RISK again. I have thrown all my cares and worries. . .as they say all I am going to lose is my PRIDE.

I like you. . . more than a barkada, dude, and pare. I have liked you since that day you cuddled me in your arms in Sir J's class. I liked you since that day we both hugged under the twinkling stars and shimmering moonlight in Tagkawayan. I liked you more when you cried with me over the phone in the middle of the night after my dad and I fought. I am liking you more and more every single day that we have been spending together. I am liking you more for being the thoughtful and sweet guy that I never imagined I would meet. I am liking you more for everything that you are. I am liking you more for just being who you are.

As I have said before, thank you for being coming into my life. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being there when I need someone to help me out in certain things. Thank you for the simple attention and affection that you have been showering me. Thank you for everything.

I am not hoping that after you read this letter we would, miraculously, be a couple. I am hoping though that even after you read this letter we would still be friends before. I just wrote this letter to air out my feelings. I have kept it for so long and I am having a hard time keeping it to myself. I don't want to regret someday why I never told a person just how special he is to me.

 

> AnGel <