{Senti}

Lyrics:  Better Days  Dianne Reeves

ISSUES! ISSUES!!

This day is too much. I need to go on solitary contemplation. Go on a retreat. Make a hiatus. Unfortunately, I couldn't do it. There would be too many important things that would be left hanging. There will be an increase in the numbers of sad people. Even though, I need sometime alone I couldn't possibly do it. HIM wants nothing to change. HIM wants our status quo before this day. Its hard to pretend you're ok when your inner turmoil is getting the better side of you. I don't know what's going to happen to HIM and me. All I know is that I have to get ahold of the situation before it further goes out of hand. I have to use my special ATE prowess this time. I have to stop this illusion and dreaming. HIM isn't for me.

*****

I just called up HIM. I was just returning HIM's call. Anyhoo, the many purpose of HIM's call was to talk about what happened to  us. As of the moment, I chose not to talk to HIM. I need to think things over. I don't want to be too imposing or hysterical if ever we talk. I am frustrated right now. Too stressed out. Too tensed. I told him that I'd be willing to talk to him on Monday at Starbuck's near our school. Even though, I know what we are going to talk about and would rather not talk about it, I have no choice but to fix things. . .clear up things. We have been the sources of discomfort of a couple of people these days and I don't like that to continue. This is one of those times that I couldn't run away from a problem. I have to face this issue. Its not really that big but right now, with shattered heart and bruised ego, it seems too big for me to handle. I have two days to all by myself to think things over. I have two days to contemplate things. I only have two days to process and heal a shattered heart and bruised ego.

*****

A Side Note. . .

If my dark chocolate ex-Honey and I were still together, June 7 (that's tomorrow), would mark our 3rd year of togetherness. Unfortunately, most of our promises were empty promises back then so we are no longer together. I am glad that I am finally, finally over him. Would you believe that there's no bitterness when I tell him:"May God Bless you and your wife to be. Congratulations!"?

*****

I am Angel. . .Freakazoid!