{Bitching about. . .}

Lyrics:   Could It Be Any Harder  ThE CaLLiNg

I'm in heaven. . .I am in cloud nine. . .

Went out with HIM today. Watched some funny Filipino movie. It seemed to me and for some people around us that time we we're kinda like the couples we see except for the constant hug or hand in hand while walking routine. I've forgotten for a little while my problems at home while I was with HIM. Even though sometimes the silence between us is extremely unsettling and unnerving I still enjoyed our little day out together. HIM patiently accompanied me through my very disorienting way of shopping for my school things. This is one of those days that just makes me want to dance and shout for joy. This is one of those days that I just don't want to end. I just hope HIM doesn't notice I'm so much crazier around him. . .or that I am extremely quiet around him. . .

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I asked HIM if guys notice if girls like them and well, HIM told me that yes guys do notice it when girls like it and that they just don't dwell on it too much. If I am going to believe what HIM told me a couple of hours ago then I guess HIM somehow has an inkling about how much I adore HIM. . . how much I like HIM. . . how much I'd like to spill out this secret that I've been long ago suppressing. . .

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I told HIM that he still doesn't know me that well. I told HIM that everyone have secrets that they are keeping to there selves. I told HIM that I still have a secret self and that if he finds out about it HIM and I wouldn't probably be friends anymore. Two things might happen: that I find out that HIM also likes me or that HIM will be repulsed by my liking HIM, ergo, we part ways. I'm near my wits end. I'm near telling HIM how I feel for HIM. Its a 4:1 ratio for girls getting boys.

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I am still trying to go through these obstacles in my life again. I am trying my very best not to breakdown or give in to these things that are currently making headlines in my head. I am already slowly sinking in the quicksand of my fears and my family's fear. My Tatay commented early this day that we are in a crisis. I am still in a crisis after all the shit that I've been through.

I thought our family weathered the supposedly lowest point of our lives. Our family business is not picking up . . .it has been like this for the last 3 years. . . Piles and piles of debts are mounting exponentially. . .

Our family is one of the greatest example of Riches to Rags story. I hope we don't end up in the dead end. My brothers wouldn't be able to take it.

These are the reasons I took a break from bemoaning the things that have been happening to me. These are the reasons I went out with HIM to watch a movie.

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My writing skill are slowly dissipating. I don't know where my writing skill have boarded. It seems like I am losing touch with my writing. I have been writing crap for the past few months. I haven't written a single poem for over a year now. I haven't improved with my writing at all. I lose face with those 13 or 14 year olds who blog. They have writing skills that I am praying and wishing that I have or rather wish that my writing would evolve into. But right now, all I write are crap.

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Its good to be back in the blogging world.

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It seems like everyone's getting hitched these days. I just hope these couples would be true to their promises. But as people would say. . . "Promises are made to be broken. . . "

My dark chocolate ex-Honey's getting married. He's just waiting for his parents' blessings. He's getting married to a person that he hardly knows. He met her in Saudi. He went there last August. You do the math on how long he's been dating his fiancee.
DISCLAIMER: I am not sour-graping!

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I am Angel. . . I am vulnerable.