Bitching about. . .

Lyrics: Is This The End CREED

I am my biggest critic. Maybe nanay is right. . . I am a perfectionist.

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A guy (a.k.a Mr. Ok-Ka-Ba-Tyan) whom I had a fling with a couple of months back is suddenly wanting to be back in my life. I am in a crossroad whether I should take him back and turn love into a game again or just try to be friends with him and wait for Mr. Right to find his way to my doorstep. I've got two things bothering me with regards to taking him back. 1) I would, again, experience to be ms. gf #2 and 2) I would be fooling around again.

The thought of being girlfriend no. 2 really makes me crunch up my face. I really hate the thought that I'm #2 and not no. 1. Being no. 2 would put me in the end of that guy's priorities' list. Being no. 2 would mean babysitting. Being no. 2 would make me a counselor 24/7 to a guy with girlfriend no. 1 woes--- this one would really make my ears bleed! Being no. 2 for me means a definite NO-NO!

I'm tired of fooling around. Being in a relationship is a big investment. It literally takes blood, sweat and tears just to make it work and I wouldn't want to waste my time with some guy whom I know I would just leave after a couple of weeks or months. I would rather wait for the next guy who has real and good intentions ,who isn't afraid of the words: commitment and exclusivity and not to mention single!

I don't need a man to complete my life. I am complete as it is. Right now, I don't want a person stipulating the things I couldn't and shouldn't do. For two years I've been following a temperamental rule--- ever swiftly changing rule! It is only now that I get to do things I wanted (i.e. meet and have close relationships with guys, grow and paint my nails, etc.). There's a good side and a bad side in being single but so far I think I would rather wait for Mr. Right than waste my time being girlfriend no. 2 to Mr. Ok-Ka-Ba-Tyan!

So, Mr. Ok-Ka-Ba-Tyan,(if you're reading this) this is my reply to your incessant text messages regarding "us"------NO! I don't want to try it out with you again. . . I don't want to be ms. gf #2. . . I am not a toy or a trophy which you can show off to your friends. . . I don't want to be a substitute or alternative to ms. Europe-based gf #1. . . I think I could find a better single man to invest my time and my love on. . . and besides I'm much too pretty for you! : p