I'm back and I'm mad. . .

AS THE WORLD TURNS. . . APATHY COMES TO ME

I am back. It has almost been a month since my last entry and a lot of things already happened in the world. A tsunami crippled a couple of countries, FPJ died, Gloria M's ratings are going downhill, Bush is still being an ass, Brad and Jen split up, and a lot more. I had intentions of writing about the tsunami that made first world countries seem suddenly less apathetic to the third world countries different plight but then again, I am a selfish, narcissistic bitch and so would just talk about my life.

My life, in a nutshell, after New Year was just work, school and house chores. I welcomed the New Year with a lethal amount of FREE alcohol in my system courtesy of my cousins and Marlo. I was pissed drunk last New Year with family so the stupid acts are a bit lessened. Food, karaoke, "turotot" are the only remarkable things during New Year. I missed the deafening firecrackers and the warm "Happy New Year" greeting of my neighbours in del Pilar st. back home. I missed watching the different firecrackers show in the sky back home. New Year's here are more subdued and less accidents-prone. New Year's here is just plain and simple boring.

Got an average grade for my Computer Science class and a downhill feeling for my Calculus. I think I'm doing better in my stat class this time around. Still has the same number of friends here at York U. Winter's still here though there are breaks to the subzero temperatures I am slowly getting used too.

Ikaw and me aren't improving. We're slowly deteriorating, thanks to my insane jealousies which I shouldn't have because Ikaw and me are just "you" and "me" and not an "US". I feel like everything's going downhill for Ikaw and me. I wouldn't be surprised if one day, I would just call it quits on this pseudo-relationship that we have.

Been feeling EMPTY these past few days. I've financial freedom but the emptiness just wouldn't go away. I've been thinking of things to fill the emptiness but I still couldn't find any. I have been looking for the feeling of longing for home but it seems like it just isn't there. I think I am turning more and more apathetic as each day goes by. Apathy is slowly eating me.

I remember during my last days in highschool, my world history prof. Mr. Isidro read something about those German soldiers during Hitler's time, war made them apathetic. He warned us that the world might try to turn us into apathetic individuals and that we should try our hardest not too heed to apathy. Sadly, I feel like I am giving into apathy.

The girl with a big heart is suddenly starting not to care anymore. It's a sad thought, right? But under the circumstances that I am and under the uncertainty I am letting myself get into, I have no choice but to choose not to care.

*****

I am Angel. . . so what if the world has gone mad?