Feels like X'mas?!?

It's beginning to feel like Christmas. . .

. . .NOT!!!!

Yep! A few more days and it's Christmas. I remember last year's Christmas. I gave my heart away again and got it broken, but that's a different story altogether and I would rather not tackle it tonight.

Do you feel like Christmas is already here?

I don't.

Maybe the thrill of Christmas really fades as people grow older or maybe I really don't feel Christmas yet because of all the things that's been happening in my life. Work and doing the household chores have been keeping me pretty busy these days, that I haven't even found time to finish Christmas shopping.

Maybe I'm turning into a pessimistic ass that's why I've been feeling this way for quite awhile now. Hopefully, sometime soon I feel the "spirit" which livens up almost everybody during this time.

*****

Freezer-like Temperatures

Wo-ho! It's a PRETTY COLD day today! Would you believe that the lowest temperature of this day was -8 with a wind chill factor of -14? Yep! And what's worse is that that's not yet COLD for most of the people here. Tsk! Tsk!

Try sticking your head into your freezer and try baring the cold their for like 4 hours. . . That's what I felt while I was on my way to the bus stop this morning. I felt like my ears, nose, and my hands are going to fall of my body without me noticing it. It was so cold that even though I was inside our building already for like an hour or so my hands were still all red!

A -8 degrees C temperature would've been fine by me but with the wind chill, it felt like it was -30! And oh yeah, I forgot to mention that it snowed last night too. So while I was experiencing the COLD outside, I was also carefully walking to the bus stop because of the snow. Snow's nice when it just fell from the sky but if it's been there for like a couple of hours. . .that's a totally different story!

My mom had a mistake of leaving her bottled water in our van when she went to work a couple of days ago. When she came back from work, her water was no longer water but ice! My little kid brother kept cajoling my parents to turn off our fridge and put our food outside, specially when it's snowing! hahahaha!

Anyways, it's pretty cold here and I have to learn how to stick it out because as my mom would tell us: We are already living here!

*****

To YOU

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
And the very next month
You gave it away
This year
I'm still the stupid ol' me
I'm still giving you my heart
And preparing for the tears. . .

I ask you want you wanted for this Christmas and you asked for the same thing that you have been asking for the last three years and. . .that's me. You never lost me. You had me and still have me. I am the one wishing to Santa that for this Christmas and for all the Christmases to follow I'll have you, but I guess I will never have you. I think I've lost you long before I knew you.

I wish I could give my heart to someone else, to someone that most people would want for me but how can I do that when my heart comes with a property tag and your name is written in bold letters on it? How can I give my heart away when you bolted it, locked it and hid the key to it? How can I give my heart away when it still clearly calls your name?

*****

I am Angel. . . a miserable fool.