I DREAM OF DEATH
What do you do when you dream and you dreamt that you died?!?
Well, me, I texted someone said something to the effect of: I just woke up from a dream. In my dream you were there with these people and well, in the end, I died. But we saw each other.
And comes the analysis part. The other person sent a text message to the effect of: well, dreams are in reverse right? i'll die and you will all live happily. To which I replied: No, you represent _______ and my dying might me a part of me dying or already died. And you know what, I think it is true. I think that a part of me is really dying. What part? That I have to figure out.
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that a part of me is dying. But hopefully, its not the part that me and my text partner were thinking about because if it is so, I wouldn't know how to break it to him. I wouldn't know how to tell him that the part so fond of him is the one dying. I wouldn't know how to break someone's heart without meaning to. Specially, I don't know how to break his heart.
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Speaking of dreaming of deaths, about a month back is when everything started. At first it was my grannymom's death that I dreamt about, and then some random person, and then my own death. I don't know why I have been dreaming of death. Psychologically speaking, dreams should some kind of subconsciously working out repressed issues in me. People say I have some weird sense of things and hopefully, this is not it that's happening. I used to say I wanted to die young but having discovered and realized that there are a lot of things in this life that I still want to explore and experience, I do not want to yet.
I am afraid of death. Some people are not but I am.
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I am Angel. . . figuring out which part of me is dying.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
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