Gone a Miss

MISSING HOME

The thirst for anything Pinoy is suddenly surging in my being. This coming Thursday would mark my 3rd week here in Canada. I don't know what is it that suddenly made me crave for things that are Pinoy.

It's not as if we don't eat Pinoy food everyday. It's not as if we don't speak the language. It's not as if we have been away from the Philippines that long. But I suddenly miss home right now.

Yes, people here seem a bit friendlier. The weather here is cold. People here tend to follow rules. Every washroom has a functioning (read: flushing) tiolets and tissue papers are abound. But I still miss home right now.

Maybe I'm missing home right now because I am missing a lot of things in my friends lives. I must seem like a distant pestering unknown acquaintance to them these days. Or maybe I miss the lifestyle I had back home. I miss riding the jeepney and the taxi going to and from places. Riding a bus here is still a bit confusing for me. Getting a cab are only for the very well-off people here. I miss the dizzying heat that we have back home. I miss a lot of things from home.

It would seem, by the way I write, that I have adjusted myself to the thought that back home and over there means PI (or Philippine Islands, as how my cousins would refer to it), but in truth I really haven't. It still feels like I am just on some great big vacation and one of these days I would come back home. My Tita would comment that I am like a "Canadian" in the way I dress going to NoFrills or MickeyD's (FYI: I am in my tattered t-shirt and old jogging pants) and would compliment me in the way I speak, but really my heart and soul is and would forever be Filipino.

I may have the twang in the way I speak. I may even dress up as a Canadian but all these are still foreign to me. Four years , 11 months and 1 week from now I will be given the choice to be a Canadian, I will say yes to it in order to please my mom but in my heart I will always be a Filipino. Besides, dual citizenship is now allowed back home. ^_^

*****

RESTLESS

My subconcious wold not let me rest.

I have put on hold dealing with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (Sorry Gurl-in-Pink) that's why he keeps on popping in my head these past few days. I have vowed to get to know myself more before deciding the fate of the power of two. I hope that this is just one of those passing feelings that I have had these past years. I hope that soon I would find the inner sunshine that I had when the power of two were still together. I hope that in time I would make the right and final decision.

*****

BOUND TO YOU

Bound to you,
I am not anymore.

You have severed ties first,
I just followed suit.

My heart is still shattered,
But I know in time it will be healed.

I maybe broken right now,
But I am stronger than ever before.

Bound to you,
I am not anymore.

*****

I am Angel. . . sky lover!