{ Ramblings }

Of Children's Parties

I just came back from my youngest but definitely not the littlest brother's friend's party. It was a magician themed party. I was quite hesitant in accompanying my brother because lethargy just found a comfy place somewhere in my cholesterol-filled body. I was in no mood at all to go any where for that matter. I just wanted to rest but as usual an Ate will always be an ATE so I had no choice. I actually had fun at the party. I was just a spectator but I found warmth in every children's laughter, gay screams, and smiles. A part of me misses the child that I am not anymore. A part of me pities my little brother. He was surrounded by so-called adults early on in his life and was forced to grow up earlier than his peers, ergo, there are certain things that he is supposed to be doing as a child but he holds back from doing these things. My youngest brother is only 7 years old but he does not believe in Santa Claus anymore. He rarely dances at his friends or his parties. He rarely joins the joyous squeals of his peers. It seems to me that he always needs OUR (our family's) approval in order to have fun in life. I don't want to think that he is losing his childhood so early on in his life. I don't want to think that he's going through the same things that I went through. I don't want him looking back at his childhood and not remembering a single thing. It's only now that I am trying out certain new things. It's only now that I'm experiencing the things that I should've experienced when I was a kid. Maybe that's why Honey always tells me I act like a child. Better be a child rather than some snobbish, uptight, cold, unappreciative adult!

*****

I am Angel. . . feeling bloated right now.