{ Ramblings }

HELL WEEK

Yes! Tomorrow morning is officially the start of HELL WEEK for us green and white students. Tsk! Tsk! So many things to do, so many presentation to finish, so many notes to photocopy. ^_^ People are actually wishing there are many more hours in one day rather than our regular 24 hours just so we green and white students could squeeze a couple of hours sleep. I had a preview of how hectic and how weird people will get these coming days last Thursday afternoon. I was re-typing some project for my favorite but (alas!) Gollum like prof. Sir J at this dingy internet cafe and well, I was sandwiched between Cha who was claiming every 10 minutes or so that she's about to cry because of pressure and Angeli who kept telling me that she's going to have a break down one of those many minutes that we were together. What do a person do at that certain moment in time? Well, I just laughed and tried my darnest to make the people on my right and left sides at that moment to laugh and think positive. Weird moments like that make me wish I could always be that positive about things. But then again, constancy would make my life boring! ^_^

******

Raw Emotions Untold

I wanted to lash out at her. I wanted to tell her everything that's going on in my mind. I wanted to tell her that it hurt me so much when her defensive mechanism acts up. I wanted to tell her that I love her but at the same time I hate her for not believing in me. . . for telling me that I can never be a good psychologist and a good psychiatrist. I hate her for making me regret why I ever showed concern. I hate her for making me feel not one of her own. For 17 years I have followed all her stifling rules and all her decisions for my life. For 19 years I tried to please her and get her attention. For 20 years, I have yearned for her approval. I guess its now time that I move on and stop yearning for her cares, concern and warmth. She will never be the person I imagined, wished and prayed for all my life. There will always be a barrier between us. She will always be cold towards me. I will never be enough for her. I will always be the unplanned somewhat unwanted daughter in her life. I will always be that one person who messed up her entire lifetime. I am the major reason why she does not have the life that she wanted and imagined for her.

*****

Metasearch: Butterfly brat

I have a site-meter and because I am currently bored (waiting for Honey's arrival which is like a couple of hours later pa!), I am listing the words/adjectives that people used in random searches using yahoo!, google, aol, and a whole lot of other search engines. Some are hilarious. Some are weird. Some just really baffled me that my site showed up when that phrase/word/adjective was used! So here goes an entry filler. . .

Search engine: Yahoo!
Search words: brats and diarrhea
filipino songhits lyrics
cosmopolitan:69 bachelors (never wrote about the cosmo 69 bachelors!)
2003/04 psychic predictions & beyond
c****, friendster
maystar designs
salbakuta - stupid love
love letter for first monthsary


Search engine: Google
Search words: martin nievera left asap
"dan church" blog
serial's key 2003
i am angel
little cutie,cute, sweet, fluffy. ,funny puppies
naked povedan school girls ( definitely did not write anything to this effect!!!)
corny pick up lines
carmen abrego
how to get rid of a brat
natal mp3 boyz ii boy
s** tayo

Search engine: Aol
Search words: attraction and blushing
Courting and flirting behaviors by females
Bading

People really could be weird! Sigh! . . .

*****

I am Angel. . . fidgety.