{Bitching about. . .}

 

Lyrics:  In Da Club  50 Cent

 

Catfight, depression, atbp. . .

Started the day feeling really low. Depression's kinda kicking in. Wasn't in a very talkative mood 'cept for my usual horsing around with my Table_03 friends. Kept my head bowed down and just kept writing nonsense all through out my different classes. Li'l Ms. Big Heart thought I was ignoring and avoiding her. She thought that I wanted to pick a fight with her. I wasn't ignoring or avoiding her nor I wanted to pick a fight with her. I was just not in the mood to talk today. I was just not my usual self. Z told me Li'l Ms. Big Heart's probably like that because of the situation that we (Li'l Ms. Big Heart and me) are in. It made Li'l Ms. Big Heart feel a little bit sensitive. I have no problem with her. Really. I don't. It's just that I wasn't in any mood to talk and be jolly. I have nothing to talk about and be jolly about.

*****

Stupid depression's kicking in at the least time I expect it would kick in. A couple more days to go and its my birthday but unfortunately the slinking hands of depression's getting me. Lethargy's getting the better of me. My usual jolly smile's gone a miss this days. A scary scowl's plastered on my face these past few days. I am most of the time tired. . . tired of my life, my petty fights with people .:Angel:. You know who you are. . ., just plain tired. My bed's getting tired of hugging and comforting me. My pillows are tired of telling me that everything would somehow be all right. My blankies getting tired of constantly wiping my tears away. And my journal's bleeding these days with all my stories. I am so tired. I am an emotional wreck.

*****

Another thing that kept troubling my mind is that I might've scared my friend The Messenger away. Accidentally sent a message to him that was supposed to be for my Japanese Acrobat Sister. Just want to make it clear to The Messenger, I am not a basket nor a nut case. I have Bipolar Disorder. Was diagnosed summer of last year. Hope I didn't scare you away.

*****

I just hope this is just one of the blues and would not go into a full blown depressive episode. People could not handle it when my mood dips so low. I wouldn't be able to function well too. I am sick and tired of all these freaking mood swings!

*****

I am Angel. . .the Blues Queen!