{Bitching about. . .}

Lyrics:  Kid Fears   InDiGo GiRlS

The war's started. I am, most of the time, scared to watch the news. I am scared that I might hear the name of my ex-dark chocolate Honey in the list of the casualties of that "stupid" war. Even though he hurt me sooo much I still care for him somehow.

*****

I just bummed around all day. Had a movie marathon together with my mom. My mom brought again the topic of me taking up nursing instead of taking up med proper. I'm kinda feeling the pressure these days with regards to my study. I'm in a crossroad. I don't know if I should take the path that my heart is set or take the path my parents, particularly, my mom's dream for me. I really want to be a doctor. Its not that I'm after the money, I just want to help people. But it seems like my dream is getting a tadbit unreachable because of the constant pestering of my mom for me to take up something that I really don't want. She told me I could always take up medicine after nursing. Geez!

*****

My mother have been running my life for almost 19 years. I defied her wishes and plans for me when I met my ex-dark chocolate Honey. . . but that was almost three years ago. Now, i've mellowed and taken on the role of a good little obedient daughter who's about to turn 20 this coming July. I think and feel that if she would still insist that I take up nursing, I would end up to be the butterflybrat I was a couple of years back.

Actually right now this butterflybrat's feisty and non-conformist persona is suddenly wanting to be let out. I feel that I'm being strangled by the rigid rules of my parents.

*****

I am Angel. . .a butterflybrat inside a cage.